Not been around here much of late.
I’ve been slightly grappling with the whole blog thing. The whole flickr thing.

The other day I observed the arrival of purple wisteria petals, fallen from the pergola – and thought to myself, in a past time I would have returned swiftly with my camera – and now I don’t really care. But apparently I do. Because today I returned with my camera and took, just the one photo – late evening in the front courtyard.

Soon to not be our courtyard. Soon we’re on the move again. I’m going to miss this house. This little house that’s too small for us but I think I’ve loved it more than any other house I’ve lived in even including the big one in mount albert. But that’s the one we need to be back in for the kids to grow up. They need space to move around. Big long halls to go careening down, leaping over sofas, chasing each other out into the garden and back again all through the house, up the hall, into any one of three bedrooms, rumpus room, kitchen, sunroom, living room, dining room, out onto the deck and back into the garden they go…

Every time we think we want to stay we just think of the space for the kids and we know it’s the right thing. For us. For now. Oh but do we love it here though.

People have said to us we must settle down. We must stay somewhere. We’re crazy. We’re mad. We should just settle down. In part yes, that’s absolutely right. But we’re already planning our next trip here. A different way to be here. A bit easier. A bit less of a wrench. Maybe a bit more Auckland than London, but London too nevertheless.

You know it was only the other day I noticed the wisteria.
And already it’s on its way out.






10 responses to “Fleeting”

  1. Lindy avatar

    I soo feel you on the space. You live in a beautiful corner of London but space oooh the space is just such an issue in the country. Do you think being from NZ you’re affected by it more?? I think my being American makes the space issue a huge deal to me! My 2 up/2 down is just about to kill me- I need space!!

  2. marie avatar

    oh i know the feeling..
    i dont think i like standing still either.. but sometimes i do. you just need to find a balance.

  3. Megan avatar

    exactly. precisely. the whole thing.

  4. Aidan Laura avatar

    Thank you for writing this, it’s beautiful and really captures being between two places. We are living in a too small house with 6 year old twins. Now that winter is starting, the house is getting smaller and smaller. Our big house (unsold) in America calls me frequently (twice as many bedrooms and giant playroom). But the place it’s in doesn’t. So here we are still, and for a while to come.

  5. melissa avatar

    ah, yes. i feel this too, so much right now. sometimes, what i wish, is that n.z. and europe were not so far away. because it really feels like a choice between one or the other for long-ish periods of time.

    i’m glad you captured the wisteria before it went completely.

  6. Heart Felt avatar

    Where ever you live you will make it a home for your children, warm, loving and memorable – because thats the way you are. xx

  7. Nicky at Not My Mother avatar

    Oh, I so understand this yearning feeling of being pulled in different directions. Auckland is the logical choice but your heart is still in London.

    So familiar.

    On a cheerier note, if you give your wisteria a nice pruning now it will flower again very soon. 🙂

  8. Sian avatar


    I am in the same situation but torn between three countries!! I came to the UK via Australia but originally I come from NZ. I have to make a decision about the place ‘to be’ and raise my children in the next year. Iam 3yrs into living in the UK and having hated it at first, now appreciate the things it has to offer. The wonderful ability to see the rest of Europe is a major plus.
    On the downside I havent seen my mother for years, it is just too far and too expensive to go back and forth. My stepfather moved to NZ from the UK in the 60s and he never saw part of his family again they just could not afford it.
    I havent decided what is best for us yet but I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason.
    Good luck with your move back, NZ is a wonderful place to grow up..when your used to the space and the freedom that life brings there it is hard to settle for anything less..

  9. Caterine avatar

    i have never ever left my city. i was born in brussels and always been living here. i cannot imagine how it feels to leave my hometown…
    do you already know when you’ll be leaving uk?

  10. Caterine avatar

    oh i forget to say that i am so found of your fallen / dried flowers shot.

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